Seanna Leath.  Pomona College Class of 2013.  First-generation, low-income, student of color…first year at college.  Oh, wait…scratch that…it’s sophomore year. 

I’m now back on campus in sponsor training, already moved into my single, making connections with new people and excitedly reconnecting with “old friends”.  Just as a heads up, the sponsor program at Pomona College is (in my own words) one of the foundational mentoring bases available within our community, which focuses on integrating first-years within the campus atmosphere.  As a sponsor, I have thirteen first-years in my hall, “under the wing” of me and my Co-Spo, Martin Barrera (an amazing guy).

As I helped the new “kids on the block” move in, I absorbed the awkward looks and silent moments during uncomfortable conversations between harried parents and students.  While some “fit” right in, others remained hesitantly in the background…more at ease with blending into the scenery of tall trees and mountaintops (not literally, no one was THAT tall) than reaching out to others.  And that was where I came in.  I knocked down the trees and eroded the mountains, leaving those anxious students bare and seemingly unprotected.  Okay, I need you to continue reading before you form the hasty assumption that I’m a psychologically scarring first-year mentor. 

After removing them from the scenery, I created conversation, made horrible jokes, and included them with others in our group.  During icebreakers, I didn’t hold back.  Not even the most silent could refrain from laughing a few times, and soon, everyone was participating.  Back in the hallway that night, I knocked on doors and banged down barriers.  Even if they don’t realize it yet, the stories they can tell other students about their “extremely excited and overly welcoming sponsor” will easily start more than one conversation. 

Coming back as a sophomore, my role on campus has shifted.  Ready or not, I realize that some students may look to me as a mentor—a guide-line—someone who has “been there and done that”.  Over the summer, I frequently contemplated the impression I wanted to give off to others.  Do I want to seem haughty and overbearing?  How can I refrain from seeming too available?  How does my personality come off at first-encounter?  What legacy will I put into effect as I continue my education at Pomona?  Is it possible to balance my life, while also serving as a student leader…and should those two items even exist separately?

I walked into the dining hall today.  One of my quietest kids was showing another student a pamphlet and laughing.  More than likely, I had nothing to do with that.  On the other hand, if I had allowed her to remain part of the “scenery”, would she have been laughing and talking?  In the minute chance that my outgoing and animated personality on the first day helped at all, I’ve successfully started the year as I’d hoped.

So in summary…my kids feeling unhappy or alone on campus this year due to a sponsor or mentor absence…?

Not a risk I’m willing to take.

So, here’s one thing they might not mention at the beginning of freshman year…it’ll be over before you know it…and then summertime hits…and there are three open months…free for you to fill however you like.  Ideally, you’ll have a summer job, or even better…an internship lined up.

Which is where my summer plans come in!  This summer, I’m working as a TA (Teacher’s Assistant) for the program PAYS—Pomona College Academy for Youth Success.  It’s a four week intensive program for high school students—rising sophomores, juniors, and seniors—to help them improve math, writing, and study skills.  As a TA for rising sophomores, I attend their math and critical inquiry classes, help them with the assigned homework, and serve as a mentor.  In addition, I’m also teaching my own class that I personally designed—I chose to do a course on Psychology, with an overview of perception, intelligence, and abnormal.  So, those are the logistics of the course.  But here’s the amazing part…

The kids.  I wake up around 7:30 AM and work with my group until about 11 PM…Monday through Thursday.  Alongside helping them with assignments and attending classes, they have free time from 6 to 10:45 PM…which for me, generally means volleyball games, soccer, or trips to the gym. 

Before the program started, I was extremely nervous.  Would they like me?  Would I do an okay job teaching the class?  What would I do when someone had a problem?  What if they couldn’t relate to the other students?  WHAT WOULD I DO??

So the first week flew by…and all of those issues came up.  I had a few students who weren’t relating well to others.  What did I do?  My Co-TA (fellow staff member) and I got them outside playing soccer, made extra efforts to sit them next to new people at lunch, and we paid closer attention to their moods.  The students in my class seemed nervous and unable to engage in discussion.  What did I do?  I asked them to do Icebreakers and diagrams until everyone was laughing.  Did the kids like me?  Well…I’m not sure about that one, but they do invite me to sit with them at lunch, and join their volleyball games…so I’ll take that as a good sign.

Friday night, after the kids went home for the weekend, I was in my bed, exhausted…thinking about the past week.  I started to cry…not a small trickle of tears…not a little gulp…a complete sobbing break down.  It wasn’t due to my state of extreme fatigue…it wasn’t that I was upset because the apple juice that I wanted was downstairs in the lounge…it was something else entirely.  I realized that for the first time in a long time, I was completely happy and at peace with where I was.  Traveling between Arkansas and California has had its up and downs…I often feel as though I’m torn between two worlds…no matter where I am—there’s always somewhere else that holds my heart…and that’s been very difficult to handle.  Even with so many places to call “home” this past year, I’ve sometimes felt lost, confused, and alone…as some of you may next year during the college transition.

So much has been brought from within me after only one week in the program.  The kids.  The staff.  The work.  The play.  The people.  In case you were wondering, the tears were of joy and fulfillment.  So…in conclusion, this summer…I’m a TA for the PAYS Program.  This summer, as a TA for this program, I’m doing my best to give the kids a great experience and perhaps a little guidance.  This summer, I’ve found my way home.

In honor of finishing up my first year, and being back home, working and relaxing…I’d like to just do a re-cap of seven top memories.  Five is too few, and ten might be too many…but seven…now THAT’S a perfect number!

1. Walking into my dorm room on the first day with all of my boxes…looking around the room, taking in the white walls and twin-sized bed, and realizing that THIS WAS IT!  College had begun.

2. Bus ride during Orientation Adventure (for freshmen)…I met two of my closest friends on that trip…unbeknownst to me that they’d be so influential in my first year…(close relationships can happen where you least expect them and with people that you might not notice at first)

3. First OBSA social lunch (OBSA = Office of Black Student Affairs)…it was great to see fellow African Americans on campus and get to know more of them as a part of my new community—the mac n’ cheese was amazing, too…be sure to reach out to mentor and support systems on campus!

4. Receiving my first “A” on a written assignment in my freshman critical inquiry class; although I may have been an excellent writer in high school…that DID NOT automatically carry over in college…be ready for constructive criticism and a willingness to put in a lot of hard work…this is an entirely new ballpark!

5. This will be a double memory, but represent the same thing…

- Spending the night with my second half, Ale…watching movies and drinking hot cocoa…laughing, talking…

- Staying up until 3 AM with my best friend, Martin…talking about anything, everything, and nothing

- Receiving a Sponsor Position for next year…meaning that I’ll be helping incoming freshmen acclimate to the environment, serving as a resource and living in the hall with them to serve as a mentor and friend…I’m so excited for next year!

- On my birthday, there was an end-of-the-year freshman pool party…a group of the students there surprised me by singing me happy birthday, while I stood blushing in the pool…it reminded me that although I was 2,000 miles away from home…I was still among family

My first year can’t be summed up in words…filled with ups and downs, good times and bad…but I can say that freshman year is unlike anything you’ll have experienced before.  Keep your eyes and mind open, try to stay positive, and keep your goals in mind.  Oh, and have fun along the way…time will fly by…guaranteed!

1. Mind over Matter—Out of my eight senior-year teachers, only one of them refused to acknowledge senioritis as a legitimate disease that infects more than 80% of the graduating high school class.  In fact, not only did she refuse to acknowledge the grade-threatening disease, she wouldn’t give us any leeway on the quality of our work or assignment deadline extensions.  Although she was technically a “pain in my neck” during that last month, she was also a constant reminder that it was still necessary for me to work just as hard as I had at the beginning of the year.  I’d made my way through nearly thirteen years of public education…there was NO JUSTIFICATION for me falling off now.  (Despite her best efforts, I hear that 80% of the senior class once again contracted the disease).

2. Teaching for the Test—Although it may not be the best way to educate students or promote critical thinking, many of my teachers “taught for the test”, whether that was the end-of-year AP, IB, or similar exam.  In doing so, the curriculum was fairly straight forward, but often pushed through material at an alarming rate.  However, no matter how difficult the lessons were, I was still going to be expected to demonstrate my acquired knowledge in mid-May.  You will, too.  By succumbing to senioritis, you run the risk of missing important end-of-the-year information, as well as failing to constructively utilize review sessions.  So, although you may never use the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus when you’re the executive of some big-shot company, that poor test score could still affect your initial college experience.

3. Be that Little Engine—You know the one I’m referring to…the Little Engine that Could.  By the end of the year, I was exhausted; physically, mentally, and emotionally.  It was much easier to surrender to negative and self-defeating thoughts, rather than personal motivating advice or uplifting ideas.  Just keep chugging along!  As you receive those college acceptance letters, realize that it was your hard work that got you this far.  If you receive a few rejection letters, know that better things are coming your way.  Refuse to stop.  Refuse to give in to those destructive thoughts.

Last but not least, keep in mind that “this too shall pass”.  Senioritis is not a permanent disease, but instead, a temporary illness…kind of like the common cold.  However, if it direly affects you now, you could continue to come down with other sicknesses.  Therefore, wash your hands often.  Cover your mouth when you cough.  And most importantly, turn in all assignments, study for those tests, and smile at your teachers.  They’re tired, too!

I was never good at hide-and-seek.  I could handle it a little better if I was the one counting, but hiding was horrible for me.  On the one hand, I’m lanky, slightly clumsy, and never good at fitting into the covert nooks and crannies of the house.  But more than that, I’m extremely impatient.  Even waiting for my friend or cousin to count to twenty was too much.  So you can imagine my anxiety as I anticipated college admission decisions.  I was convinced that time had stopped.  Not only had time stopped, but the mailman was in cahoots with the colleges to keep me from the outcomes as long as possible.

Just as I’d reached my end and was about to call the Pentagon to report the conspiracy, I received my first letter in the mail.  Actually, it was less of a letter and more of a package.  Okay, so if you’ve heard the theory that acceptance letters come in big envelopes, while rejections arrive in small envelopes…I have to admit that I think it might be true.  (I apologize if you were waiting for me to discredit the rumor).  I was ecstatic!  I called my mom, texted my best friend, and hugged my boyfriend.  The hard work WAS paying off.  Someone DID want me!  I’d applied to over ten schools, and each of the letters were soon rolling in.  However, the one I was most nervously awaiting had yet to find its way to my mailbox.  Pomona had not replied.

By April 15^th, I was sure that I’d been rejected.  Honestly, I was crushed at first.  I wondered what I’d done wrong, if my essays weren’t strong enough…if I wasn’t academically sound enough for their admissions process.  Here’s a small piece of advice—a rejection letter does not reflect a shortcoming in your personality.  Although you may not have been the best fit for that particular college according to a few admission officers, you should not take it as a personal attack on your character or on your worthiness as a human being.  In fact, sometimes when we’re required to open our eyes to new options and alternatives that we weren’t willing to consider at first, windows of opportunity fly open that benefit us amazingly.  Therefore, keep your mind, heart, and eyes open.  While knowing what you want is important, be receptive to changes and prospects from colleges that may not have been your number one.  And if you do get into your number one, congratulations!

Oh…I finally received that acceptance package from Pomona.  I’d given them the wrong zip code.  Second piece of advice—double check your address before submitting information.  The government wasn’t conspiring against me after all.

One of the hardest things about doing something new that has tricks and turns, stumbling blocks and stop signs…is exactly that…it’s something new with tricks and turns…stumbling blocks and stop signs.  Junior and senior year were hectic.  Sometimes I felt that I was getting to know myself better on paper than in person.  Essay after essay, cover letters and resumes, applications and recommendations…all became every day components of my life.  However, so did a few special people—a few adults and leaders that I came to consider mentors.

I don’t think there is a special formula for someone who can be a mentor; no set criteria or educational background requirement.  Still, they tend to be very special individuals, capable of guiding you along your path and setting stones of future opportunities before your feet.  I didn’t have very many, but those that I did have were more than enough, remaining with me even now.  They provided security and motivation when I was lost and “at my end”.  Oftentimes, my mentors saw potential in me that I was unable to see, pushing me past limiting boundaries onto brighter possibilities.

I believe that those who have traveled a similar path before you are able to offer advice that we have yet to know that we need.  That wisdom is priceless, immeasurable in quality and value.  Looking back, I remember and appreciate the help they provided.  Looking forward, I want to serve as a mentor on my college campus and within my future communities.  The most amazing thing about my mentors was not that they were superiorly perfect human beings or that they’d changed the world with sterling accomplishments.  Instead, they were people, just as I am, capable of embracing their mistakes and passing on their wisdom.  They were willing to change my world, and in doing so…enable me to begin a path of helping others change their own.

~Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction.~John Crosby

While I hope no one followed my example, my actual college application process was hectic.  I had everything in order theoretically…great grades…pretty test scores…more extracurricular and community service hours than I could list…I was in tip-top shape—ready for anything!  My I’s were dotted, and my T’s were crossed.  Only one more thing to do.  Apply.  As you’re reading this, you might be thinking that this was me around mid-November, early December at the latest.

Well…you’re wrong.  This was me on December 26^th.  Regular decision deadlines for most schools in the country were January 1^st.  Did I mention that my application process was hectic?  For four days, I thoroughly researched the 25-ish schools on my list and started finalizing details.  A mentor had to sit me down and say, “Pick 10 from this list, and send in the materials—you have to make your decisions…NOW!”  Obviously, I did make the decisions, and I did post-mark my apps by the deadline…however, it was still unnecessary stress that could have been avoided had I stopped procrastinating on FINALLY choosing my top schools.  By now your applications are in, so let’s discuss what I felt like afterwards.

Three words: relieved, anxious, and tired.

I was relieved that the formal process was done.  Now, all I could do was wait for the colleges to decide if I was a prospectively good fit for their school environment.  I’d passed the tests, made the grades, gave back to the community… now I could breathe a little.

IMPORTANT: THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT YOU STOP EARNING GOOD GRADES OR WORKING HARD IN SCHOOL.  COLLEGES WILL LOOK AT YOUR LAST SEMESTER GRADES.  THEY CAN REVOKE SCHOLARSHIP MONEY, AND ACCEPTANCE DECISIONS.  BEWARE.

Now that I’ve given that piece of advice, back to my second feeling.  I felt anxious about getting the responses in the mail.  I liked something (or many things) about each school, and non-acceptance letters would feel like a personal rejection of me.  I was worried that I could have done better on the essays, and perhaps I didn’t “sell myself” correctly.

Tired because I’d been striving for perfection for six months…in and out of class.  Senior year can seem like a whirlwind of activities…I’d be lost in the next set of things to do without realizing that I’d finished the last ones.  Hopefully, your year hasn’t been like that too much.  However, I was tired, and I still had to find energy and enthusiasm to finish out the school year.

So, after waiting for a few months, I started receiving the college decisions in the mail.  My first acceptance letter was amazing…I can’t quite describe the feeling.  I was wanted…on a 4-year college campus.  For someone from a family who doesn’t pump out college graduates, this was something new…a goal apart from everything else I’d worked for.  All of the work…the stress…the time management…the effort…the tears and the struggling…it was all worth it.

So hat’s off to you for completing the applications.  Now…sit back…relax…you’ve got amazing things coming your way!

Hey Everyone! I’m back at Pomona for my second semester. CSO’s Executive Director Matt Rubinoff stopped by campus to visit and pulled out his Flip Video. Here I reflect on my experience so far at Pomona and offer some advice for current high school students on choosing the best college for you.

FAFSA.

Ferocious-Anxiety-Financial-Stimulating-Atrocity.

My senior chemistry teacher belabored the fact that graduate and medical schools will look at grades in Organic Chemistry to weed out the strong from the weak.  She told us that OrgChem isn’t grotesquely hard, but instead, it highlights your ability (or lack of ability) to memorize and compartmentalize gigantic chunks of information into a comprehensive learning style.

In my mind, Organic Chemistry and graduate school admission is analogous to the FAFSA and undergraduate admission.  Separates the strong from the weak.  So you’ve chosen the schools you want to apply to, written the essays, gained acceptance, and narrowed it down…now it’s time to TALK MONEY.  And contrary to what the financial college pamphlets may lead you to believe from the smiling faces on happy high school students, this time can be just as stressful, if not more, than the actual admissions process.  Just depends on several factors.

A. Parental and Mentor Knowledge of FAFSA process

B. Your access to parental and mentor knowledge of FAFSA process

C. Parental Aptitude at Organizing Past Financial Records from Tax Season

*KEEP EVERYTHING!

D.   College’s Level of Helpfulness in Providing Financial Support

*Private or State public school?  Large or small endowment?  Need-blind admission?    No-Loan Policy?

E.    High school’s Knowledge of College Financial Process

F.    Personal Knowledge of College Financial Process

So, if you are lucky enough to have parents that have conquered this process a few times before and have great organizational skills (know where last year’s W-2 forms are at)…you’re on the right track.  If your high school has a great counselor program that is actively in touch and “in-the-know” about the financial aid process, you’re zipping right along.  And finally, if your college is miraculously helpful and easy to reach during this money-crazed period, you are IN THE END ZONE! BINGO! WAY TO GO!

But…in the off-chance that your parents aren’t exactly sure of what they’re doing, or perhaps…know next to nothing…

And your high school counselor vaguely knows the process…

And your college can only be reached during the hours that you are attending class…and do not return calls after many urgent voicemails, and cannot be contacted by email, Skype, Facebook, or text…

Then you are closer to my experience of FAFSA and the financial aid process.  I still get goose bumps thinking about some of it.  Personally, my family didn’t know that much…my high school counselors knew mainly about in-state assistance, and a few of my schools seemed impossible to get in contact with.  I sat down with my mom one night, and three hours later, we’d battled through FAFSA.  I still had to make three corrections later on, in fear that the IRS or some similar tax-service would consider my accidental errors an attempt to harbor money from the country.  However, after the FAFSA, it was time to sit around and wait until I received initial offers.

This next statement is not an attempt to sell my school…just an acknowledgment of the truth.  Pomona was AMAZINGLY helpful with financial assistance.  I was able to reach them during office hours (2-hour time change might have made a difference), and often, they knew what I was referring to before I did.  After receiving the first offer, I was able to repeal the amount after explaining that my family’s situation was not correctly represented on the FAFSA.  Cutting to the end of the story, I accepted an amount that alleviated all stress from my family’s end, allowing me to attend a school that would have been completely out of my league.

For high school students, I’d recommend that you talk to high school counselors and do your best to get in touch with the financial aid counselors at your top colleges.  Sit down with your parents in plenty of time to complete the FAFSA, and try to have all of the necessary materials beforehand.  Keep financial aid a top priority until after you receive an offer that works for you.  Try not to get discouraged…and keep your goals in mind.

It’s one of those—“Keep your eye on the prize”—sort of things.  It’s easy to get caught up in the stress and frustration of finding the money you need…but at the end of swimming upstream in search of it, you’ll find that it was well worth it!