Hurry bus! Please hurry!!

March 31^st was the craziest time for me. I elected to get my admissions decisions from Stanford, Princeton, Yale, Columbia, Williams, and Harvard by email, because truthfully, I didn’t want to wait for mail. Although I got into a lot of schools previously, including Dartmouth and several other amazing liberal arts colleges, these were the schools that would guarantee me full aid all four years, so I was excited and anxious, because they were the most competitive and selective in the country. Because I was in west coast time, I had to wait until 2pm (5pm Eastern time) for admissions decisions for all except Stanford. And for some dumb reason, that day was an early day at school. I didn’t want to wait at school for three hours, so I took the long bus home. I couldn’t stay still. “I find out where I get into today!”  I say to some people I see on the bus often. I try to read, but I can’t. Finally, an hour later, I get near a computer. 12:32 pm. Seriously?! I pace. I pace some more. I worry. I check for Stanford. No. I deflate. I cry. So impersonal! I get a yes from Williams! I feel a bit better. I have to call for Princeton and Yale, because I forgot my online password, and it was very upsetting talking to the Princeton staff. “You know, I can give you your password, but how about I tell you now, so you don’t have to wait.” Ok. “I’m sorry….” Thanks! Bye! And I quickly hang up. By now I’m so nervous. I’m anxious. I’m shaking. This is so important to me. Not just going to college, but saving my life, and soon my family’s. Securing my future. No from Stanford, Princeton, Yale. Yes from Columbia and Williams, but how can I get into three top schools in a row- let alone the most prestigious? Harvard’s up there. I got two interviews. I know they don’t know about whether I’m worth the risk. I’m homeless. I missed a lot of school. Can I handle the change? The work load? The people? I hope I convinced them. I hope my not traditionally-stellar scores will be considered under the lens of where I came from. I hope my optimism is enough to convince them I’ll be ok, I can and will handle the challenges. I hope all the help and recommendations from South Central Scholars, my school, and mentors, are enough.  By now, I’m feeling VERY insecure. I can’t take this.

At exactly 2:01 (5:01pm eastern time), I refresh Gmail. In very generic type- Harvard College: Your Admissions Decision.

“I can’t open this!” I yell to Trisha London, co-founder of South Central Scholars, and Randy Winston, the director of SCS. I was in Trisha’s office, where she and her husband, founder James London, work, and Randy Winston was comforting me. “Open it.” They say. I click. It loads. Sloooooooowly.

“…We are delighted-”

I stop there!! I can’t read anymore! I scream! I shout! I GOT INTO HARVARD! I GOT INTO HARVARD! I GOT INTO HARVARD! WHO CARES ABOUT STANFORD, PRINCETON, OR YALE? I GOT INTO HARVARD! I play the melodic classical music video given to admits. It seems so Harvard-y.

Then, I call my mom. I tell her the news. She was staying at a shelter in downtown at the time.

The relief, the happiness in her voice. Yes mom, you didn’t mess up. Our trials, our tribulations, the pain, it’s ok now. Because mom, your daughter, your daughter, got into Harvard.

I must say from the get-go I never really had a “mentor” or someone who helped me along the college process, at least not in the strictest sense. And this is true for many first generation students. We just don’t have anyone who takes our hands and shows us the ins and outs of looking for colleges or helps us fill out financial aid or any of that.

CollegeConfidential was my guiding light as far as the whole process goes. Everybody has a different story, but please listen to this one piece of advice: do not not ask for help. When I was beginning my search I just told my mom “Yeah, yeah, I got this, don’t worry. I got everything down.” Well sure I thought I had everything down, but now that I’m in college I’ve talked to more admission officers and financial service officers, and I regret not asking for help.

Yes, I know you have no questions, everything seems pretty straight forward. Red buzzer. Did you know you could go back and appeal for larger financial aid package? If you get into multiple schools, and the one you reaaaaaaaaallllllllyyyy want to get into does not offer the package you can afford, you should try appealing for a larger package.

That’s just one thing you learn once you start talking to people who have been through the college process before. And you know what? I know you don’t have questions, but maybe you should talk to someone anyways. Just ask: hey so what was applying for college like for you? Or my friends’ and my personal favorite, what goodies do you got in that college bag? Hah we don’t really talk like that.

The point being is that you should just get a feel for what has been done, what has succeeded in getting more aid, acceptance, etc, and what has not succeeded. If you’re stuck in an area where not a lot of people have gone to college, you should just go up to your guidance counselor, and ask them about their experience. That’s what I did, and I really love my high school counselor. She was the one who told me about CSO in the first place.

As I’ve said, I never had anyone really tell me what to do or how to do anything as far as college. This is good and bad. Good because I have had the freedom to do what I want and there is nothing like staying up until 1am looking at colleges with your buddies. Bad because I didn’t have a clue as to what I was doing.

*** I just got a text from my good friend, David Ngo. He has midterms right now and his text couldn’t have been any better for right now. “Gotta dig deep and find the source of strength and see [life] from a bigger perspective.” What’s the bigger perspective for you?

What I mean is what is the reason you’re doing what you are doing? Why go to college? For a better future? Yes that is the answer, but why do you want the better future? Simon Sinek asked me the same thing and it is something worth asking yourself…

Whatever the reason, there is, as I have come to find out, a person or people behind the reason. My mom was the biggest factor in me coming to college. Her story is a bit too intimate for me to share so publicly, but I’ll talk about the theme that is universal to most, if not all, first generation students.

The weight that is put on your shoulders is a weight that many first generation students feel. I dare not call it a burden, but rather a 1000 ton brick on your back. And that is why we do what we do. Because we love our families, because they expect so much from us,  because we expect so much from ourselves, as the forerunners for wealth in the future generations,  this is what fuels our passion.

I may be generalizing way too much, forgive me if I am. I may sound corny, but this is coming right from my soul [this sounds pretty corny looking back]. If you have more reasons as to why you strive so hard or have someone special who has motivated you feel free to put it down in digital form!

Finally finished my first semester at Harvard!!! I can’t even describe how I feel. The first thing I did when I got out of my last final (Philosophy), was call my mom. She was at work so she couldn’t answer but I left her a voicemail thanking her for helping me overcome all the obstacles we have faced together. It was tough, but we made it!!

This semester was most definitely a challenge but it just takes adjusting. It’s nothing you can’t handle!

If I could give a piece of advice: learn to manage your time while still in high school; set your goals and in everything you do, ask yourself if it is helping you get to where you ultimately want to go. Also, always make time for family and friends; they are the ones that will help you get through the rough times.

The Holidays are here!! I can’t wait to come back home!! I just hope that I will be able to reconnect with all my old friends after four months. I have so many stories to share. College is definitely one of those life-changing experiences that help you gain perspective on the world. I never thought I would make it, but through hard work and faith, you can too!!

Keep working hard guys and enjoy the holidays! I’ll definitely blog again soon!

…but I don’t think any of us needs a day to give thanks. I must say I am thankful for all things here – from my freedom of speech to the fact that my mom calls me every day [yes every day haha].

I would shed some light on my past and tell you why I’m thankful for this that and the third, but today I ran across a Wall Street Journal article about an Iranian-American, dissenting against Iran, who got an anonymous email saying that his family would be harmed if he did not stop producing slanderous material against Iran. 2 days later his mother called and security had arrested his father and told her that the young Iranian-American, Koosh, would not be able to safely return to Iran.

Iranian Protest

Iranian Crackdown Goes Global – WSJ article

Everything in my life, regardless of whether it is “bad” or “good”, I am thankful for. This article just proves to me once more that the grass I stand on is as green as it can get. Happy Holidays everyone.

Viva la vida,
-Duylam

Time. It is what we all want more of right?

Right now I am really wishing I had more time in my life because I am one busy person right now! I am going to college full time, I work at Sears part time, I have to volunteer 40 hours before December 12,2009 (I still have 20 hours to do) and I am a mom full time.

For the past month it feels like I am always on the go because I always have something to do or somewhere to be. This can sure get exhausting at times because I feel like I never have down time. To try to keep track of everything I keep a planner with me at all times so that I do not lose track of what I am supposed to be doing.

For those of you who are having time management problems or who are not able to get everything done in one day I suggest you try using a planner and not only to write down your homework assignments but everything else you have to do to.

I have a planner that has space for you to write out what your doing every hour and that is what I do. I know that probably sounds very weird and some people are thinking “who wants to plan out every hour of their day?” but it really does help a lot. It shows me what times I have open to do other things or if I need to fit something in that day. It might not work for everyone but it would not hurt to try because if it does work you might find yourself to be a much more organized and possibly more efficient person.