I completed my freshman year at Harvard! It was an incredible year, full of challenges, achievements, and lots of coffee! I survived Introductory Economics, Expository Writing, pre-punch, and numerous New England snowstorms (really tough for a California girl like me).

One of my favorite academic experiences deals with my freshman seminar- Communication, Advocacy, and Public Affairs. Our project has moved past the classroom level, like the other projects, and we plan to continue with it during our time here – convince Harvard to implement more public speaking classes and resources. This was also an eye-opening experience for me because as I am interested in policy and advocacy, I get to learn at what it is like to deal with large bureaucracies in real time. This is invaluable experience for me.

Another wonderful part of the past year has been the expanding of my sense of what is possible. There is no such thing as “impossible” at Harvard, and for someone who has lived for years in an environment where “can’t” was the norm, this is an amazing and stimulating environment to be a part of. It continues to be a challenge on so many levels – academically, socially, and emotionally. To be sure, this can be at times intimidating, but as I love challenges, this is the perfect environment to create the me I’ve always imagined but until now, wasn’t sure I could become. It is an awesome experience.

This summer, I am interning at an education technology company in NYC. I am an intern to the CEO, another challenging position, albeit not as challenging as mastering the NYC subway system!

In reflecting back on the last year, I am amazed at the support and encouragement I received from people like you. When times were tough, your belief in me was a tremendous source of encouragement. I am looking forward to my sophomore year and to pursuing a concentration in Social Studies, (Harvardspeaks for major).

I will be profiled in the August edition of Essence magazine. I hope that you will read it and that my gratitude for your support shines through in that article! Again, thank you so much for your continued support. I look forward to fulfilling your hopes for my future.

Hurry bus! Please hurry!!

March 31^st was the craziest time for me. I elected to get my admissions decisions from Stanford, Princeton, Yale, Columbia, Williams, and Harvard by email, because truthfully, I didn’t want to wait for mail. Although I got into a lot of schools previously, including Dartmouth and several other amazing liberal arts colleges, these were the schools that would guarantee me full aid all four years, so I was excited and anxious, because they were the most competitive and selective in the country. Because I was in west coast time, I had to wait until 2pm (5pm Eastern time) for admissions decisions for all except Stanford. And for some dumb reason, that day was an early day at school. I didn’t want to wait at school for three hours, so I took the long bus home. I couldn’t stay still. “I find out where I get into today!”  I say to some people I see on the bus often. I try to read, but I can’t. Finally, an hour later, I get near a computer. 12:32 pm. Seriously?! I pace. I pace some more. I worry. I check for Stanford. No. I deflate. I cry. So impersonal! I get a yes from Williams! I feel a bit better. I have to call for Princeton and Yale, because I forgot my online password, and it was very upsetting talking to the Princeton staff. “You know, I can give you your password, but how about I tell you now, so you don’t have to wait.” Ok. “I’m sorry….” Thanks! Bye! And I quickly hang up. By now I’m so nervous. I’m anxious. I’m shaking. This is so important to me. Not just going to college, but saving my life, and soon my family’s. Securing my future. No from Stanford, Princeton, Yale. Yes from Columbia and Williams, but how can I get into three top schools in a row- let alone the most prestigious? Harvard’s up there. I got two interviews. I know they don’t know about whether I’m worth the risk. I’m homeless. I missed a lot of school. Can I handle the change? The work load? The people? I hope I convinced them. I hope my not traditionally-stellar scores will be considered under the lens of where I came from. I hope my optimism is enough to convince them I’ll be ok, I can and will handle the challenges. I hope all the help and recommendations from South Central Scholars, my school, and mentors, are enough.  By now, I’m feeling VERY insecure. I can’t take this.

At exactly 2:01 (5:01pm eastern time), I refresh Gmail. In very generic type- Harvard College: Your Admissions Decision.

“I can’t open this!” I yell to Trisha London, co-founder of South Central Scholars, and Randy Winston, the director of SCS. I was in Trisha’s office, where she and her husband, founder James London, work, and Randy Winston was comforting me. “Open it.” They say. I click. It loads. Sloooooooowly.

“…We are delighted-”

I stop there!! I can’t read anymore! I scream! I shout! I GOT INTO HARVARD! I GOT INTO HARVARD! I GOT INTO HARVARD! WHO CARES ABOUT STANFORD, PRINCETON, OR YALE? I GOT INTO HARVARD! I play the melodic classical music video given to admits. It seems so Harvard-y.

Then, I call my mom. I tell her the news. She was staying at a shelter in downtown at the time.

The relief, the happiness in her voice. Yes mom, you didn’t mess up. Our trials, our tribulations, the pain, it’s ok now. Because mom, your daughter, your daughter, got into Harvard.

It’s always funny when you meet someone and they are totally different than who you thought they would be.  Like when we found out the “Wizard of Oz” was actually just an old man hiding behind a curtain.

I bring up that example because I was in Boston this weekend, and got a chance to finally meet some of the Opportunity Scholar bloggers—Jesse, Khadijah and Duylam.  Like you all, I have been reading about their first six months in college, and feel like I’ve really gotten to know them (Duylam is a born entrepreneur, Khadijah is a time management guru, and Jesse loves burritos). But still, I wasn’t sure what they’d be like in person, and if we would all click right away.

Boy was I wrong!

By the time we sat down for brunch at the S&S Restaurant in Cambridge (definitely check it out if you’re ever in town!), it was like a reunion of old friends. Jesse and Duylam talked about wrestling in high school, Khadijah and Jesse told us how easy it is to get lost in Harvard’s library, and food was a great common denominator too- group bonding over pancakes and bacon always works well!

Jesse, Khadijah, and Duylam also took time during brunch to reflect about how much they have overcome as a group. Even as college freshmen, they have had unique opportunities their childhood friends who haven’t gone to college have not and never will. Yet, with these opportunities have come challenges, and we talked openly about how working hard is always the recipe for success.

As they talked about their first two semesters, I thought to myself about how the three of them are doing something very powerful- they’re serving as role models for high school students across the country to understand the college process better, and giving key advice so that others may follow in their footsteps.

One of the most important things in the college process  is visiting the colleges. Even with all the research you have done, there’s just nothing like being there. Often, schools will pay to fly you out. Take advantage of this! The best way to know if you want to go to a school for four years, some of the most important and influential years in your life, is to go there. I learned so much about myself and what I wanted by seeing the colleges in action, so to speak. It’s not just about the academics- your college experience will also include outside the classroom.

My three top choices were in completely different areas. Williams is in the absolutely beautiful, secluded Williamstown, MA, Columbia is in the bustling, culture rich and vibrant, New York City, and Harvard is in the cute little charming town of Cambridge, MA, minutes away from the surrounding Boston area. Academics wise, I couldn’t go wrong. 

I loved that Williams was quiet and secluded, and I believed it would be a wonderful way for me to keep focused on my studies. However, when I visited, I realized spoiled by California’s effortless transportation system, I knew I’d get restless in the sleepy, tiny town of Williamstown. And I felt I wouldn’t get the cultural experience I craved in such a small environment.

That said, Columbia might seem like the obvious choice. It’s bustling with culture – with NYC, the United Nations, Brooklyn, thousands of cultural events, and the teeming nightlife just minutes away, no one would STAY on CAMPUS. It’d be a waste of NYC! And I knew I wanted the choice to stay on campus, that I wanted the college campus experience, and I knew I wouldn’t get that at Columbia. Ultimately, I didn’t choose Columbia because it was too busy and hectic.

Ultimately, I chose Harvard because I liked the “feel.” I liked all three colleges, but ultimately, Harvard felt right to me. I was able to see myself there for four years. I felt comfortable there. There isn’t a way to describe except that it seemed like the right place for me.

No matter how much you read and research about a college, no matter how much you think you know about it, visiting is the best way to know. There are some things you can’t measure in a college guide. I loved Williams and Columbia, but at  Harvard I felt right at the school and in the city.

Sometimes, a step onto a campus is all you need.

Can YOU afford a $200,000 education? You, whose parents are on TANF, who helps your parents by working a full-time job, in addition to school? You should probably go to your state school, it only costs $20,000, 1/10 the price of a fancy-smhancy private school, like Harvard, Williams, Stanford.  Or better yet, community college. What are you thinking applying to that private school?

Except, one thing-  I’m getting a $200,000 education.  For free.

Wait. What? Free? Gratis? My parents have a Trust Fund, that’s probably it.

Actually, nope.

In a remarkable twist of fate, for the first time in my life- being POOR was a good thing. You know why? Some colleges are beginning to recognize that intelligence doesn’t correlate with income and many are putting their money where their mouths are.

WHEW!

But don’t breathe a sigh of relief yet. Get ready for weeks of explaining your financial situation to colleges. The FAFSA was created for the traditional college student  – traditional age, two parents and 2.5 kids, no extended family issues, etc. – not exactly room to put extenuating circumstances like ours. And a lot of times, your EFC (Expected Family Contribution) will be higher than your family can actually afford. That’s why you need to get in touch with your financial aid officer early, at whatever schools you are thinking of going to. Tell them your situation. Be COMPLETELY honest. I told them my mom had no income, and they kept asking for tax forms. It was extremely frustrating. They asked for my father’s information, and it took them a while to finally understand that I had NO contact with my father and so I could not provide that information. But keep it up, be persistent with financial aid, and it will pay off, literally!

It is important to understand the difference between price and cost. The price is what colleges charge absent any financial aid – that’s that big number on the website. For most private colleges, that number is daunting. But the other important number is cost – what it will cost you once your financial aid is factored in. Because many schools are heavily endowed, they can make the cost of attending an elite private school less than a less expensive public school. Seriously, (for the juniors and younger out there) apply to the private schools. They can often give better financial packages than your state school. UCLA, for example, is more expensive for me than Harvard! UCLA, keep in mind, costs ~$80,000 while Harvard costs 200,000+. Yet Harvard is cheaper for me because they can afford to give financial aid. Look for the term “need-blind.” That term means they will admit you regardless of your ability to pay. In fact, the admissions office does not consider your need at all in making the admission decision. The other term to look for is “full need.” That means that the school will meet your full financial need – but that’s a bit dicey because your need is determined by a pretty inflexible standard that does not respond well to non-traditional families. And how they meet that need can vary greatly with combinations of grants, loans and work-study. A number of schools state they offer both need-blind admissions and full-need for U.S. students. There is room for some professional judgment and flexibility so be sure to give your financial aid office all the information about you and your family.

Now, because of the economic recession, schools are a bit, shall we say, tighter with their wallets. But don’t lose hope! Schools know the value of highly qualified students from different backgrounds, and the right school for you will provide you with a financial package you and your family will be happy with.

And by the way, all this talk about a free education is a bit misleading. I can tell you that you will pay in blood, sweat and tears for every penny of your education!

Reflecting on my first semester in college, my biggest struggle was with time management. In this video, I share some advice for what to expect in college and how to manage your time so you succeed.

I’ve been back in Los Angeles for break, and Matt Rubinoff, CSO’s Executive Director, visited me this weekend. Of course he brought his Flip Video. Here’s some advice on asking for help and finding a mentor to help you get to college.

Mean streets to college
By Tracy Jan/The Boston Globe

November 29, 2009 – It can be lonely at times being a first-generation college student. And as a low-income high school student applying to college, the experience can be overwhelming.

Students can now turn to a new blog launched by the Center for Student Opportunity for support, advice, and inspiration. Four of the 10 bloggers attend New England colleges:

There’s Jesse Sanchez, who said he overcame gangs and poverty in San Diego to become the first in his family to attend college – at Harvard, no less. He hopes to become the first Latino mayor of San Diego.

Khadijah Williams, a Harvard freshman, writes of being a homeless high school student who used education as her way out of Los Angeles’s Skid Row.

Duylam Nguyen-Ngo, a budding entrepreneur, credits his single mother with inspiring him to enter Babson College despite growing up in a dangerous Richmond neighborhood.

And Lysa Vola, who was adopted at age 5 along with five of her siblings in Jensen Beach, Fla., is attending Williams College and hopes to become a pediatrician.

The students give candid accounts of their college experience, including their struggles adjusting to and juggling the increased workload as well as the highlights of freshman year so far (like meeting Chicano civil rights leader Dolores Huerta, cofounder of United Farm Workers, who recently spoke at Harvard.)

“When I first got here, the workload seemed impossible, but it just takes getting used to,’’ Sanchez wrote in a recent post. “I’m feeling WAY better now that I’ve learned to balance things out and really find ways to make time for the things that really matter.’’

Sanchez said he grew up with a single mother, who sustained the family on less than $7,000 a year. “Yet I was not going to hold our economic status or her absence as an excuse for failure,’’ he wrote.

He searched for opportunities while his friends succumbed to violence and drugs.

“Seeing how these influences had the power to tear families apart, I strived for a better way of life, put academics first, and made it to college! . . . I hope to be a role model that many of the students in my community lack. I want to prove that academic success is possible, no matter what obstacles one may face.’’

The blog can be found at www.csopportunityscholars.org.

The Quad highlights doings on local campuses. For online updates, go to www.boston.com/ MetroDesk and click on The Quad. To submit tips, e-mail Tracy Jan at tjan@globe.com.

Check out the published article here.

I got my first midterm back. I’m excited, I’m hoping for the best. Then I look at it- a horrible grade.  A horrible horrible grade.  This means I’m a failure. Here I am, so many people think I’m smart, so many people believed in me. By getting this bad grade, I’ve let everyone who believes in me down.

There are two ways this can go: I can hide in an abyss of the library and study my butt off, and feel bad about myself, or  I can ask for help, seek out resources, and improve. I can still mess up, that’s a fact of life. But it’s what I do after something goes wrong that determines what happens in the situation.

This may seem like common sense to you- of course, when you’re in trouble, you ask for help, we know this. I see you rolling your eyes. But this translates to more than just college, this isn’t just about when you get to college. There are so many steps to be taken before you get there. There are so many steps that you, your parents, anyone you may know may have not been exposed to yet. You are all intelligent and have tons of potential, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to ask for help. Nor does that mean that if you can’t figure something out that you or others perceive to be easy, that you can’t ask for help. In order to achieve what you want, in order to get what you all are  deserving of- an education- to help yourself and your families, you have to realize that you should NOT go it alone. Asking for help does not mean you are incapable or that you are unable to figure something out. To the contrary- asking for help is a sign of inner strength, for it shows that you know yourself and will go after what you want, and you are willing to learn and grow from experience.

So next time you have a question about an application question, or the steps to signing up to the SAT, or anything relating to what will help you succeed in the future, don’t be afraid to ask for help. Your family, your friends, your school, and Center for Student Opportunity (CSO), including us scholars, are here for you. We’ve been through it too.