Which is where my summer plans come in!  This summer, I’m working as a TA (Teacher’s Assistant) for the program PAYS—Pomona College Academy for Youth Success.  It’s a four week intensive program for high school students—rising sophomores, juniors, and seniors—to help them improve math, writing, and study skills.  As a TA for rising sophomores, I attend their math and critical inquiry classes, help them with the assigned homework, and serve as a mentor.  In addition, I’m also teaching my own class that I personally designed—I chose to do a course on Psychology, with an overview of perception, intelligence, and abnormal.  So, those are the logistics of the course.  But here’s the amazing part…

The kids.  I wake up around 7:30 AM and work with my group until about 11 PM…Monday through Thursday.  Alongside helping them with assignments and attending classes, they have free time from 6 to 10:45 PM…which for me, generally means volleyball games, soccer, or trips to the gym. 

Before the program started, I was extremely nervous.  Would they like me?  Would I do an okay job teaching the class?  What would I do when someone had a problem?  What if they couldn’t relate to the other students?  WHAT WOULD I DO??

So the first week flew by…and all of those issues came up.  I had a few students who weren’t relating well to others.  What did I do?  My Co-TA (fellow staff member) and I got them outside playing soccer, made extra efforts to sit them next to new people at lunch, and we paid closer attention to their moods.  The students in my class seemed nervous and unable to engage in discussion.  What did I do?  I asked them to do Icebreakers and diagrams until everyone was laughing.  Did the kids like me?  Well…I’m not sure about that one, but they do invite me to sit with them at lunch, and join their volleyball games…so I’ll take that as a good sign.

Friday night, after the kids went home for the weekend, I was in my bed, exhausted…thinking about the past week.  I started to cry…not a small trickle of tears…not a little gulp…a complete sobbing break down.  It wasn’t due to my state of extreme fatigue…it wasn’t that I was upset because the apple juice that I wanted was downstairs in the lounge…it was something else entirely.  I realized that for the first time in a long time, I was completely happy and at peace with where I was.  Traveling between Arkansas and California has had its up and downs…I often feel as though I’m torn between two worlds…no matter where I am—there’s always somewhere else that holds my heart…and that’s been very difficult to handle.  Even with so many places to call “home” this past year, I’ve sometimes felt lost, confused, and alone…as some of you may next year during the college transition.

So much has been brought from within me after only one week in the program.  The kids.  The staff.  The work.  The play.  The people.  In case you were wondering, the tears were of joy and fulfillment.  So…in conclusion, this summer…I’m a TA for the PAYS Program.  This summer, as a TA for this program, I’m doing my best to give the kids a great experience and perhaps a little guidance.  This summer, I’ve found my way home.

After you say them enough, they all begin to roll off the tongue.  While these years may mean little to you, for me, they represent graduation years—high school, undergrad, Master’s…the list could continue for quite a while.  The years also symbolize change, something present in everyone’s life on the eve of a new year, particularly for current seniors.

My advice:

BE OPEN

BE PREPARED

BE EXCITED

Open to the many new experiences headed your way, some of which you may have never considered participating in.

Prepared for all that has yet to come and for the events you have yet to finish.  Before the college journey begins…finals, admission decisions, prom… (GRADUATION!)… all remain.

Excited because here you finally are—on the brink of a novel environment—closing the chapter of elementary, middle & high school…progressing to another stage of your life.

Be all of these things and ultimately, be ready for change.

So here I am, back in Arkansas for Christmas break.  I exchanged a 78^o climate for 37^o weather.  I’m back at my job at Steinmart, greeting customers and bagging purchases.  Once again, surrounded by family and familiar friends. But now it’s different.  I’m different.  Still myself but with subtle adjustments.  In fact, I realized that college may be a guide in becoming more “me”.

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly…”

–Henri Bergson

So, as you finish up senior year in the next few months and Fall 2010 becomes more of a present reality, keep who you are in mind, but also be willing to change…to mature…to progress…

I was wrong…

Okay…actually, the school work was not fun.  And the hallways were silent to the point of creepiness, but my break was still great, all because I chose to get involved around campus with other remaining students.  For Thanksgiving, I helped cook with our campus’s SOCA organization (Student of Color Alliance); I was personally responsible for the green beans and a strawberry cheesecake.  Before that evening, I was once again apprehensive about sharing this meal with basic strangers, but the awkwardness seemed to bring us together.

The food was amazing—together, we compiled ham, turkey, chicken, green beans, greens, mac n’ cheese, potatoes, corn, lasagna, cheesecake, pumpkin pecan pie, brownies, cornbread…the list went on and on.  Some of the leaders set out tablecloths and played music.  Afterwards, we sat around the table and played games.  Some of the guys watched football, sprawled across the couches in the room.  At some point, I looked around at the group of people and realized that I should count my blessings.  Even thousands of miles away from Arkansas, I was able to find a place to call “home”—a community of students who had most likely felt the same misgivings about the holiday, but still managed to find a silver lining.  We may not have gone home, but we were together.

And so…let me end this hunky-dory post with the lesson that I learned, one that I keep learning over and over.  College is all about new experiences.  Keeping an open mind and finding ways to reach out can help lessen feelings of homesickness or loneliness.  In applying for college and choosing a four-year (or two-year) abode, don’t allow physical distance to deter you from a great community.  You find great people in unexpected places…which can always lead to memories that you never imagined having.